beautiful freestate

silently turning

silently standing

silently aging

silently still

silently growing

                               


                             Slow
Slow day, slow to start, early sun to warm the heart.
just enough to fill you up.
It is a fine day for reflection.
Try to find the silence, between this noisy life.

The past has come and gone, memory's hang in the air.
Stretch in stretching.
The sadness of the loss, of such, my icon.
In the moments that have left us, at the end of the day.
You may only come and visit, in possible
coincidence, in maybes and maybe nots.
The certainty that you hover near, such a need.
The mind still fills with sadness, regret of things
not said, never shared.
Wish you where here right now, sitting next to me
feeling the warmth of the autumn sun.
Wish we could sit awhile , sit a while, in this sun.
Make believe, of all the times, no words need be said.
Just hold my hand in yours, and i would know, and you, you would go.
Don't leave now, sit awhile, lets talk, in silence, lets catch up, in silence.
Lets talk, lets just sit awhile, lets remain silent and know, you going to leave, soon.

It doesn't really matter, what i think, or how i feel, it's never going to happen, we never going to sit again together.....my days of loss.....i miss you Mom.. my Mom             Rae

         Motivate?
Motivation...the word makes me shudder, so now i must be excited,  jump around
like a crazy bunny?
Motivation, i am trying to escape from it... yet yes, lovely to be motivated, lovely to have that spring, in ones step, with the mind beginning to plant the seeds, of hope.
so where am i?
Happy in my sadness, happy in my longing for better days.
stuck in the middle of my life, yes some days i hate the sadness that lingers inside.

 yet it forces me to focus in, better, focus in more.
The mind, this wonderful gift, we have all been given, tiers of constantly been in a sad place.
so, i walk outside and simply, BREATH.
This simple task reminds one, oh yes, i am still alive, and my eyes would fall upon a the miracle of design, of a flower.
i  think to myself, here i am in this sad sorry day, yet life continues.
birds fly by, in search of what ever they in search of.
i am ALIVE, i am able, this physical body , my movement in most directions.
i think of people who have lost movement, stuck in a motionless body...
Yes breath again, i am thankful.
Just the act of writing this message, nudges me to, more.
No, i do not have to jump around like a bunny, i can quietly resume my life with a
little more to be thankful for and just continue from there..... Thanks

Close that latch.


My word,, my heart, your heart, your word.
What is happening...
everyone is dieing, dieing like flys.
Everyones heart is failing, failing to thrive, failing to continue.
The escape portal, grown in size.
 Everyone who needs to go, go now.
The portal will close shortly, there will be no more winners, no more losers.
No more choices, to decide , leave now, or live now.
With a breath, of utmost importance.
Live now, like today be your last.
Close that portal, people are trying to go, trying to escape,
they making their way, their way, to the other side.
Close the latch, no more, no more to leave,
stay, stay, please stay.
Breath, live, continue.
Close that latch..                            Rae

Happy can

Happy day, happy life,
 happy living, happy days.
Where good thought ends to sleep, then wakes
with good feelings, so tomorrows, become
more pleasant, love finds it's way back into our hearts.

we think better, we live better, we strive for
kindness, to melt inwards,towards our thought, our hearts in joining.
Then when we get to the end, we would have known,
we can rest, and know, our work is done.
Happiness is just, a conscious thought in choice. Rae 12 April 2014

did i say

these days

These days of rain,these days in changing
see me changing,just like the weather, just like rain
sun has gone and left us.
Did i tell you how i felt,what was moving, deep inside.
Never said, i am changing, just like the weather.
so  you presumed, my worst.
The worst, of me, although, i never said, the way it was, the way it is,
 the way it all turns out.
clouds looming over the sea, white horses moving along the wind
we building cages, all around us, trying to save our last, final sadness,
maybe tomorrow, sun is going to shine.
 I'll see the rays falling, softly on the lawn.
the sand will dry, the trees will shine. we'll remember days gone by.
yet these days are still, so still, and we all, still, still changing. Rae

 The worth of it

This day will be gone tomorrow, never to return.
life is, short, should remember that, and the sun moves lazily across the sky.
i should follow you, so you never set on me.
keep me warm, fill me with light.
reality of our ageing, am pondering on the sadness of it.
sadness of ageing,
can not seem to build each other.
love, the word, flows through my ill understanding of the worth of it.
my ageing seems to have made me want more, of life, than that has been given.
ageing, life is short.
before the sun sets, before my fire dies, before my lips turn cold.
i would leave nothing, only a memory, which to, soon will, fade.  Rae 27\4\2014